Pierson College 2022
Halloweekend this year meant many things for me. I spent way too much money on express overnight shipping. I caught a head cold from my not-so weather appropriate costumes. And I saw (and admittedly fashioned) a plethora of basic halloween costumes. Here are this year's best and worst.
Colored Eye Contacts:
Although these can really make or break a look and serve as a killer lazy girl halloween life-hack -they are also dumb and dangerous. Odds are you got them off Amazon (because your friend group was disorganized and you needed that prime shipping), so who knows where they are coming from. If you’re lucky, they will be sterile and not leave you with an eye infection or corneal abrasion.
If you were wearing this and someone yelled “Honey wheres my super suit!?” at you: that was most likely me… I’m sorry and you’re welcome.
Donna and the Dynamos:
ABBA got some extra love this year thanks to the hit Mamma Mia sequel. Personally I don’t understand how any friend group could compromise on who is who… Who. Gets. To. Be. Meryl. If you didn’t go buy a pair of aggressively flared jeans (that you still have not felt cool enough to wear after seeing this), I don’t know you
These were very in this year and I honestly could not tell you why… I mean if you have the bone structure to pull it off… respect. But I personally would have ended up looking like coconut head’s ugly twin sister if I tried this out.
Moto is back. Brands like FILA, I.AM.GIA, LF and Forever 21 have really been embracing this sleek-mesh-modern-day-Ricky Bobby look. I would bet my entire Venmo balance (of $7.12) on the fact that you saw at least one squad wearing checkers and clout glasses on your Instagram feed… #guilty...that’s me in the picture below.
The Typical Sexualized Professions:
The only thing that is interesting about these is the ridiculous branding. For instance the “too hot to handle firefighter” or the “mile high club sexy stewardess.” But if you’re going to go for it, why is noone out here dressed as a “delicious UberEats delivery man” or a “Blue State barista baddie.” Do better.
Washed-up Hypersexualed Female Characters:
Despite Suicide Squad being a 2016 movie, we are all recycling our Harley Quinn look. Dear movie industry, evidently we need some more kickass female protagonists. I’m begging you. I can’t take another year of Harleys and Dianas