Kate Swanson

What to wear when you plan to eat too much

Kate Swanson
What to wear when you plan to eat too much

What to wear when you plan to eat too much

By Lina Goelzer

Whenever I know I’m going somewhere with good food, I have one shirt that I always wear.  It’s black (slimming!), and it’s flowy, so my belly has plenty of room to expand.  And it was $9.99 from H&M.  Best purchase I have ever made.

Thanksgiving has passed but the holiday season has just begun.  In no other time of year are so many food babies conceived.  If you’re trying to exercise self control, or you would rather flaunt your growing food bump, power to you!  However, if you’re like many of us and are looking for the perfect outfit to accommodate, and/or distract from all of the desserts you will inevitably consume, scroll through for some runway inspiration on what to wear when you plan to eat too much (if too much exists)- just in time for the holidays!

Chanel Fall 2016

Voluminous lace and a tiered silhouette are both flattering and roomy, and the black tights make it perfect for winter.   Once you’re done with your 10th helping, you can strap your plate and bowl onto the top of your head, as pictured here.

Voluminous lace and a tiered silhouette are both flattering and roomy, and the black tights make it perfect for winter.   Once you’re done with your 10th helping, you can strap your plate and bowl onto the top of your head, as pictured here.

With a roomy jacket and loose shorts you don’t have to worry about bursting out of your clothes at the end of the meal.  Additionally, the other guests will be so overwhelmed by the bubblegum pink color of your outfit, that they won’t even notice your hand  reaching for the last piece of apple pie. Real talk- monochromatic ensembles are said to be elongating and flattering!

With a roomy jacket and loose shorts you don’t have to worry about bursting out of your clothes at the end of the meal.  Additionally, the other guests will be so overwhelmed by the bubblegum pink color of your outfit, that they won’t even notice your hand  reaching for the last piece of apple pie. Real talk- monochromatic ensembles are said to be elongating and flattering!

This outfit is actually lovely. Stretchy tights, flowy sweater dress, practical flats, and statement pearl strands: what more could you ask for?  It’s the epitome of comfort and elegance, with plenty of room for your holiday meal.

This outfit is actually lovely. Stretchy tights, flowy sweater dress, practical flats, and statement pearl strands: what more could you ask for?  It’s the epitome of comfort and elegance, with plenty of room for your holiday meal.

This looks like the most comfortable thing in the world.  A burgundy robe-like sweater over matching pants and a blouse?  Yes please.  The look can also double as pajamas, because who knows how quickly the food coma will hit! Images via Vogue

This looks like the most comfortable thing in the world.  A burgundy robe-like sweater over matching pants and a blouse?  Yes please.  The look can also double as pajamas, because who knows how quickly the food coma will hit!

Images via Vogue

Balmain Fall 2016

A roomy, structured jacket is the perfect thing to contain everything you just ate, and pockets mean you can save some for later.  Thigh high boots accentuate your legs.  Win-win. Image via Vogue

A roomy, structured jacket is the perfect thing to contain everything you just ate, and pockets mean you can save some for later.  Thigh high boots accentuate your legs.  Win-win.

Image via Vogue

Marc Jacobs Fall 201

For those of you who go big or go home, MJ is your man. You’ll have room for a whole other person inside this outfit, and the metallics are extremely festive and distracting.  Plus, no one will cut you in line for food with that gothic eye makeup and intense stare.

For those of you who go big or go home, MJ is your man. You’ll have room for a whole other person inside this outfit, and the metallics are extremely festive and distracting.  Plus, no one will cut you in line for food with that gothic eye makeup and intense stare.

Babydoll dresses with voluminous skirts are great for food babies.  This look screams both festive and angsty.  Not to mention, you could probably hide a turkey in there.

Babydoll dresses with voluminous skirts are great for food babies.  This look screams both festive and angsty.  Not to mention, you could probably hide a turkey in there.

You’ll tower over your relatives, no one will know how much you ate, and everyone will think you’re edgy.  Win-win-win.

You’ll tower over your relatives, no one will know how much you ate, and everyone will think you’re edgy.  Win-win-win.

Why just eat the turkey when you can wear it too?  Why dress normally when everyone knows your dramatic?  Why act happy when finals just destroyed you?  This outfit answers all of your questions. Images via Vogue

Why just eat the turkey when you can wear it too?  Why dress normally when everyone knows your dramatic?  Why act happy when finals just destroyed you?  This outfit answers all of your questions.

Images via Vogue

Balenciaga

The big comfy jacket and the stretchy pleated skirt are smart moves, but the real breakthrough?  Distract them with your shoulders!

The big comfy jacket and the stretchy pleated skirt are smart moves, but the real breakthrough?  Distract them with your shoulders!

Shirt big enough for the meal, bag big enough for the leftovers. Images via Vogue

Shirt big enough for the meal, bag big enough for the leftovers.

Images via Vogue

Simone Rocha.

Black is slimming, satin is comfortable, and, in case things get messy, this shirt basically has a giant bib built into it Image via Vogue

Black is slimming, satin is comfortable, and, in case things get messy, this shirt basically has a giant bib built into it

Image via Vogue

For more on what to wear when you’re trying NOT to eat, check out Alexander McQueen’s Fall 2016 collection.

For more on what to wear when you’re trying NOT to eat, check out Alexander McQueen’s Fall 2016 collection.